the endless list...

Just got home a little bit ago from a dentist appointment for Camryn and Wyatt and let's just say it was not the most fun in our entire lives.

Camryn's been before and every other time been a pro; guess not today. It seems that she has some issues brewing in the mouth/teeth department and pretty much did not want anyone to look, touch, see her mouth and teeth. After many a tear was shed, the dentist was able to shed some light on the subject and now we've got a another issue to add to Camryn's already seemingly endless list of things.

All the while Camryn was struggling Wyatt watched and he was done. This was to be his very first visit and it wasn't the best...let's suffice it to say when he got in the chair he put his hands over his mouth and was not going to let anyone look at anything.

I won't lie it was a horrible visit...not the dentist office fault at all, they were sweet, gentle and kind; but when a little girl has the endless list of things it becomes just another thing she does not want to do. My heart broke for Camryn, she is so tired of all of this. She hates it all...

And you know I really don't know what to say to her little heart...I'm not sure I can make it better and that just kills me. She cried on the way home and is sleeping now, but I know we'll have to battle through another item on the endless list of things we have to *make* Camryn do. I know all parents have to force their children to do things, I understand this...it is one of the joys of parenthood. But honestly the things that Camryn has to do quite simply stink. Medicines all the time...shots every night...flushing her line...blood draws...doctors appointments...and now add to that list of battles teeth and mouth care.

I guess it is foolish thinking that the list will be easy and it won't get any longer, but it does. Camryn is beyond heart broken today...she knows what she needs to do and I know that she'll do it will all the grace she can muster. But I also know that her little heart is just so tired...

And that just breaks mine in two.

My mom also told me today that as my parents and the kids were out on one of their errands earlier this week they drove by gym where Camryn did gymnastics and Camryn just started crying. She said she wishes she could go back, but she can't until she gets her line out and she wished that she could get that line out now.

Sometimes I think the better Camryn does it just is assumed that all is well; and medically speaking it is. But her heart...well I'm not sure how much more that little heart can take.

Because there is already an endless list of things she has lost, missed and just had to delay...and now there is more added to fight through...

Guess we're just waiting for the list to end...