momma's away...

i don't travel much, really i'm not much of a traveler.  and when i do travel i travel with jason, and the kids in tow...so, to travel without them makes my heart a bit anxious.

this tuesday i leave with fifty-four 8th grade students on their class trip...we're headed to the South.  Memphis, Birmingham, Montgomery, and Atlanta to be exact.  i'm excited for the trip, as i've been the coordinator and leader and to finally see it here makes me happy.  i'm not a travel agent, so to coordinate a trip of this magnitude has been a bit out of my comfort zone.  

i'm excited...but, i'm very nervous.  i'd appreciate your prayers as we travel, it'll be a whole new experience and i'm anticipating it'll be fabulous.

but, momma's away...so, i've made jason a sheet of what to do.  oh, they'll be fine it's more for the assurance of my own heart. :)

hopefully, all will go smoothly and we'll be on our way to memphis on tuesday and on our way home from atlanta on saturday.

until then...

nine...

happy birthday camryn lee...

you fill our hearts in ways only you can

you give us hope...
that god's not finished with your story

you fight a foe that never played fair
and are winning

you are beautiful

you are sweet, fun, talented, creative
and simply the best

we thank jesus for blessing our lives nine years ago with such a sweet baby girl
we are blessed to be your mommy & daddy
blessed by what you have taught us about life
blessed to have stood by your side while you fought the fight of your life
blessed to watch you grow, learn, and love
blessed to call you our cam
blessed to spend these moments with you
as they are a gift

you are our hero.
you are a daily reminder that jesus does big things
you are the god's megaphone in our lives saying over and over
"god is good"
you are a miracle.

you challenge us to live.love.hope.believe.
no story ends...and your nine years have been the most unbelievable
we cannot wait to see where the next one leads...

love you sunshine.
love you to the moon and back.
forever.always.

~ mommy & daddy
xoxo

love you cam...you're the best big sister in the world.
you are my best friend.  you are my favorite person in the world.
love you,
your lil brother wy

breathing deeply...

i heart the springtime.  i absolutely love the renewed sense of life it brings.  i adore easter vacation, the spring break.

this week me and the kids are enjoying our break, a time to just call a time out on life as we know it and enjoy a little bit of life as we love it.

i don't have a lot planned, intentionally so...sometimes i feel that while i'm busy trying to find things to fill our time, the time has passed.  so, this week we are just being.

today the kids spent the day with my parents, it was wonderful.  i went to breakfast with a dear friend, which was a treat.  ran some errands.  cleaned, organized, and really just had time for me.  it was good therapy.

while i love this time of year...memories lurk.

camryn will be nine this year.  how is that possible?!?!  but, with her birthday comes a wave of emotions that by now i should really learn to anticipate, but i don't.  they caught me today...

as i was cleaning out the kids' homework papers, bookshelf, and all things school...it caught me.  the feeling that camryn's birthday always brings...didn't know if we'd get these days.  

if i'm brutally honest with myself i had packed camryn's birthday away in the do not dream category...do not plan, do not hope, just let it be.  some years i wonder if this is the last birthday (i know that's just an awful thought), but i'm being brutally honest.  some years i wonder how it will be to watch her grow older and know that there will be many hard conversations to come over her health and just the stupid side effects that she will navigate for her entire life.  

and yet...

most of the time i find myself in the land of the living ever so thankful for camryn's life.  the life that she daily lives to fullest.  and in those moments i breath deeply...

i breath in those moments to help me through the darker ones...

because the darkness comes.  i'd love to say that where camryn is concerned i just bask in the glory of it all and rest securely in my lord's arms, but sometimes i don't.  and when i don't the darkness feels as though it will swallow me whole.

tonight is one of those moments when i'm striving towards the light of the lord's glory...knowing that He is good.  He always was.is.and will be.

and tonight i'll breath that truth deeply.