broader than it seems...

Another week down...honestly, time is passing relatively quickly and Camryn is getting through her arsenic treatments well. We have one more week and then we begin to prepare for transplant. I remember thinking that the arsenic weeks would be so long...now only one more.

Yesterday while we were at the procedure center and arsenic was running through Camryn's veins I was struck by something...childhood cancer is broader than it seems.

You see when Camryn was first diagnosed Jason and I did not personally know any other young children with cancer...it seems to strike so unexpectedly and in isolation. I remember my eyes being opened as we started chemo and such at Cedars...I remember seeing countless little kids and hearing their stories. As we walked through Camryn's first diagnosis and battle with leukemia...my heart was impacted by countless children and young adults who handled this disease with such grace and dignity.

Then Camryn started to get better and we started to return to our "normal" life, leaving our cancer world behind...we would still make our monthly trips back into cancer world. But day in and day out we were in the world of health...

Now, we are back in cancer world and my heart just breaks...Friday I saw countless children and their families getting blood draws...hooking up to IVs for chemo...talking with doctors. And I realized that Tuesday's clinic is for bone marrow transplant kids...Friday's clinic is for other type of cancers. Yes, this childhood cancer world is broader than it seems.

In our normal world...people aren't fighting this, but in our cancer world we cannot escape it. We begin to realize that we are not alone in this...there are many children fighting the fight of their life...there are many families struggling to keep it together...there are too many...far too many.

It is easy for our perspectives to become narrow...for our lives to be "easy" so to speak. For bad things to happen to other people...but, not in our circles. You know I was there once, but February of 2006 blew that all away.

I became a member of a group I never wanted a membership of...parents of a child with cancer. But, may I share something with you? It is through this journey that I have found a perspective I would not change. Oh, I would never ask for this journey...I would never choose it again. And if I could I would banish this disease from Camryn's life for all time. But, I can't...oh how I wish I could.

This is where we find ourselves and we are learning to appreciate what we've gained...leukemia has taken much...but, the Lord has given much. We are not less because of cancer...we are more because of Christ.

Our perspective is broader than it seems...because we are walking a journey that forces us to encounter people who are walking too...and I pray that Christ meets them where ever they are at.

As He is meeting us...and molding us into the people He desires us to be. Oh there are days when I yell and scream within myself and want answers...because my life looks so different than I would have ever wanted or even dreamed. I want things that I cannot have...

But, Christ love is enough and it is broader than it seems. His love is boundless, unconditional and available for me, for us. Even in the midst of this storm...His love is the anchor...

Yesterday as I was taking a walk my mom and I were talking about how well Camryn does with everything. How she has taken to her new schedule and everything so well...How she just does what she needs too. Where does the strength come from? The answer...The Lord hates this disease...He hates this war raging in Camryn's body. We live in a world that is fallen and broken and cancer strikes...but in his boundless love He provides. He carries Camryn through...He gives her strength for each day. He is the one...it is through Him that Camryn is able to live.

Yes...life in Christ is broader than it seems.