answers...blessings

Many people have asked us various questions in regards to Camryn's battle with leukemia the first and now second time. Questions about Wyatt's cord blood donation and now his pending bone marrow donation. Questions ranging from what happened to what will happen? Lots of questions and truly, I don't mind them so much if I keep the answers on an intellectual level and my heart out of it. When my heart starts pondering the answers it tends to get a bit messy. But, I thought I would try to answer some of the questions, not nearly all of them...but the few that we get most often...

* Is it the same leukemia? Is the treatment the same? What in the world is arsenic anyway?...Yes, it is the same leukemia. Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia...that was our foe 3 years ago and it's still our foe today. Treatment...yes and no it is the same. Camryn underwent arsenic treatment roughly 2 1/2 years ago and she is receiving it now. Arsenic (yes, rat poison) is a type of targeted chemotherapy, which targets Camryn's leukemia cells and causes them to die; and yet leaves her other cells alone. Wonderful stuff...truly, it is amazing.

* Cord blood vs. Bone Marrow...This seems to be the biggest question. Why not cord blood again? Well, truthfully we don't have enough left of Wyatt's cord blood from the first time. And honestly since we have the donor in our midst the doctors feel that this time Wyatt's bone marrow will be better. As in Wyatt's white cells are more mature than cord blood and what we need this time is Wyatt's white cells to attack Camryn's leukemia cells and beat them. We need a little war to rage within Camryn's body and we need Wyatt to come out on top. While this little war rages (graft vs. host disease) Camryn's doctors ever so gently and carefully maneuver her medications to keep this war from getting out of control...yes, it is a very and I mean very delicate process.

* What happened?...or more like What went wrong? The answer nothing. Camryn's first bone marrow transplant went super, in fact 2 1/2 years super. There are no guarantees in this cancer world we find ourselves...there is no 100% cured. Because that cursed stuff lurks...it waits, it hides and sometimes all it takes is one cell. One blasted cell to remain and sit in the shadows until one day something triggers it and it's back. So, truthfully nothing went wrong...we just have to try this time to kill them all...to let Wyatt's juice work it's magic. And since it did it once it can do it again...

Well, that's about all the intellectual medical jargon I can take...now, to the "real" life stuff.

Camryn's had a couple really good days now...what an amazing blessing to us. Now, she's not bouncing off the walls or anything, but she's doing. She's playing, chatting, interacting and just showing signs that progress is being made.

Yesterday evening as I was watching Camryn nap...and just reading a book to pass the moments a friendly face appeared...Dr. M. He pulled up a chair and just talked...he called it a social visit as he is not on rotation this week. We talked about the future treatments...we shared the news of the day. I cried...he encouraged and I found such comfort with him there. He assured me that he is praying for Camryn...seriously, this doctor just leaves me speechless at times. I asked him if he saw this coming and he said no...seemingly as devastated by all of this as we are. He went on to say that we are like family...we are walking dark roads together and we see the good and the bad, the joys and the sorrows and yet we don't let go. We hold on and we pray for the Lord's guidance and peace for each day. Yes, that was not an accident that Dr. M stopped by...that was a sweet blessing from the Lord with my name on it...Dana needs this...

Today Camryn had a nice day...a few visitors stopped by which is always fun for her. Of course the highlight again was Wyatt showing up...man does she love that little guy. She enjoyed playing with T & C and Grandpa & Papa...she enjoyed getting out of her bed and sitting in a chair for awhile. (Yes, that's a big accomplishment)...she was feeling better today. Which in our world of one day at a time we savor. Just an added blessing...for friends and family.

One little fun highlight of the day was a group called Flashes of Hope that came to the hospital to take photos of the kids...I had seen a little bit about them in one of my parenting magazines and thought it seemed cool. One of those wish we'd done that with Camryn back in 2006...well, I guess it was foreshadowing, because we got to do that today. How very special it made Camryn feel...and when your child is battling cancer you realize that there are times when they just need to feel special. Another cool blessing...

For D and Ry to come hang out with me and Wy tonight...to talk and be together was so neat for Wyatt and me. How blessed we were to have you...

And now for the cutest comment of the day...Camryn and I were sitting in her room watching television when she says, "Mom, when I get better and go home I need to make some cookies or cupcakes or something to bring back to the nurses and doctors to say thank you."...Honestly, what 4 year old thinks like that? Camryn...

As I watched Camryn & Wyatt today I couldn't help but feel blessed...even though my heart is broken to watch Camryn battle all of this again...even though I cry tears over and over...I know that the Lord continues to give us enough for today. Oh, I have many questions that are left without answers...and we have many blessings...