acute promyelocytic leukemia

I can still remember Camryn's doctor at Cedars coming into her room sitting down and saying...

I have good news and bad news...the bad news is that Camryn has leukemia, the good news it is easily treated.

That conversation was three years ago today. Camryn's bone marrow aspiration results had come in and Dr. H was sharing the news with us...the diagnosis. As we sat and listened she explained that the type of leukemia Camryn had was extremely rare in children, it was more likely to be found in adults. As she went on to explain that in most cases chemotherapy would be the standard course of treatment...a bone marrow transplant was the furthest thing from Camryn's team of doctor's minds. Honestly, I don't think they ever envisioned Camryn going down the road she did.

The road...

I remember trying to get my hands on any piece of information about APL I could. Trying to understand what it was my little girl was fighting. Trying to wrap my mind around what we could do...what caused this? What were the treatments?

And oddly enough there was a certain comfort in knowing that we were not alone. That other children were fighting although I learned early on that hardly any children we came to know were fighting the same thing. In fact at this point we have never met anyone with APL...so we are learning that in as much as childhood cancer strikes far too frequently, it strikes far too differently as well.

As a family we have come to have special places in our hearts for other children and their families who are walking this journey. There are no words adequate enough to capture what we feel for them...the ups and downs that they are enduring. At times I wish I could physically wrap my arms around them and tell them that it will be okay; but in fact I cannot. Because it isn't always okay...

Sometimes it's downright horrible, ugly and unfair. Sometimes cancer wins...it robs children of their childhood...it robs parents of their children...it hurts innocent people, innocent ones.

I hate cancer...I do. I hate what it has done to countless families...and I guess what I hate most is that it continues too. That is why we pray for healing...we pray that the Lord redeems his children...that in some way in the midst of tears, hurts, and tragedy...the Lord would win.

Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia...changed our family's life forever. No longer do we fear it the same way we once did, but it has changed us. It has caused us to see the world so differently...to see others so differently...three years ago those 3 words were spoken and honestly, I never knew they would hurt so much...

And change so much...