story told...

Our family was asked awhile ago to share our story in chapel at Village...well, today was the day.

We intentionally picked today so Camryn would be able to join us so it did not conflict with her school schedule. We all were there...Jason, Camryn, and Wyatt joined me at Village. Jason and I had been kicking around ideas for awhile about how to best capture our families story of the past almost five years and convey what we wanted to say...what we have learned.

If you remember the montage we made for Light the Night...I reworked it a bit and we showed that so that the students would have a visual, a framework for our story. I will admit I can't hardly watch the montage without tears filling my eyes and today was no different. As I watched the pictures fade in and out my heart was full, full of memories and thoughts.

After the montage we showed two short video clips of Camryn & Wyatt answering questions...they were great, so cute, and so real. Wyatt's was especially funny, because he is quite a funny boy at times. I smiled as I watched the clips, struggling to really believe that my kids are as old as they are.

Jason then shared about the feeling of losing control he felt throughout Camryn's journey. Having to hand his little girl over and trusting that the Lord would hold her and take care of her...He did great. And again I was so amazed at the man I married...over and over I am amazed at him and his love for his family and his faith in God.

I went next and shared that my Plan A of life was shattered and I have been walking in Plan B and I don't like it, it's not fair, and really as much as I would like it to change it never will. I shared about my sweet Jackie & Heather coming to visit me when Camryn was first sick and asking me a question that plays over and over in my head..."Are you mad at God?" Answering that question that I wasn't, I didn't understand then and I really don't now; but I know that this story breaks God's heart even more than it has broken mine.

We are all living in a Plan B of sorts...life never has completely gone like we've planned it. Unfortunately, some of us have had catastrophic things alter the course of life and our lives never recover to what was.

And as I was driving to work the song played, "How He Loves..." and really that is what our story has taught me over and over...

Dana,
You are hurt, you are broken, you will never be the same and I love you still. I always have loved you and I always will. My heart hurts for yours and I will make this story beautiful, I will restore it, I will redeem it, and I will continue to gently whisper in the midst of the storm...I love you.

And sometimes my heart needs that story told to it time and time again.