and so it begins...

Tomorrow work starts again...this summer has been amazing, really wonderful! For so many reasons...

* Camryn passed the year post-transplant mark and is doing awesome!

* Wyatt learned to ride his bike!

* Camryn got her line out and stopped the nightly Lovenox shots!

* Wyatt & Camryn got to swim...a lot since we only began this fun in August.

* Jason & I got to be home all summer long with the kids and it was fabulous!

* We got a mini-vacation...a real treat!

But, like all good things summer must come to an end.

So, tomorrow I head back to work and as excited as I am, I am also very sad. I wish that I was preparing for Camryn to go to first grade at school with me. All of this is another lesson in a dream deferred. A dream put off until another day...

I don't think it is accidental that as I was reading Plan B by Pete Wilson that the chapter was about a dream that comes crashing down...there have been many dreams that have crashed, but today I'm wrestling with letting go of the dream of taking Cam to school with me each day.

In the chapter it talks about letting go of control, releasing dreams and letting God be God. It is mulling through my heart and maybe tomorrow I can write more...

But for now...

He's [David] recognizing the reality that all control is simply an illusion and surrender to God is not just the appropriate option but the only option. Just because my will won't be done, he's saying, doesn't mean that God's will won't be done. I'm not going to try to control and maintain what I can't control and maintain. This is not the story I would write, but hey, I'm not God. I will abandon my dream, but not my God. ~ Plan B