wyatt's room...

In light of the massive, heart wrenching clean out of Camryn's closet and then the 13 bins in the garage it only seems fitting that Wyatt's room got some attention. Wyatt's room is the "baby room" in our house, it was Camryn's baby room when we first moved into our house and when we found out we were pregnant in the summer of 2005 we began to plot and plan moving Camryn into our other bedroom. When we lost our baby due to miscarriage I decided that maybe we would just take the transition slowly and get Camryn's new room ready and start thinking of expanding our family someday. So the baby room sat pretty much unchanged and Camryn moved nicely between the two...sleeping in one, playing in the other. In February of 2006 when we got the news of Wyatt's pregnancy again we started really plotting and planning, but those plans were quickly interrupted.

We spent much of the nine months waiting for Wyatt dealing with Camryn's leukemia and her many hospital stays. As I've said before there has always been a tinge of guilt in my mommy's heart for feeling that I never properly planned for Wyatt. I did not have a nursery ready and really it was hard to put my heart into decorating a room when everything else just seemed so out of whack. After we got home from Camryn's first transplant we spent some time getting Wyatt's room settled, but honestly it has always felt as though it was Camryn's hand me down room to Wyatt.

As Wyatt moved into a big boy twin bed we just put his mattresses on the floor and made due. His furniture did not match really and that was alright; but nagging in my heart felt as though I need to prepare. I need to really give Wyatt's room the focus and attention it deserves.

Well, this past weekend Jason and I saw and ad in the paper for a 3 piece bedroom set at a very good price and we thought we would check it out. After seeing it and measuring Wyatt's room and thinking about it, we decided to get it. And honestly it may sound stupid and silly, but for me it was as if I was preparing for this little guy for the very first time.

Wyatt's furniture was delivered today and boy was he excited! I told Jason I feel badly sometimes as so much attention is given to Camryn and really today it felt so great to focus on Wy. To celebrate him and just see the joy in his eyes...

So today I feel as though the cleaning and the sorting and all of it was worth it...my heart feels a bit of healing to have given my little boy the time and effort and my mommy's heart feels good. Oh I know it is just a room, but for my mommy's heart it represents a finishing of something that has always felt unfinished.

Wyatt's room...is his now, not a hand me down and a carry over of the years of leukemia. Maybe in 2010 the Mikels family will really begin to move forward...

I hope so, but for tonight we did in a very small way and it feels so complete.