I feel like we are in a lull and I'm hoping that it is not the lull before the storm.
I don't know why it is but with every passing day, as February inching closer my heart gets heavier and I have to catch my breath.
I was looking at the calendar trying to *plan* some little activities for our family of four to make the world not feel so small and there they were 2/7...2/17, the days forever etched on my heart when the bottom fell out of our world not once, but twice.
This February will mark four years of this leukemia journey...four years. Not a 100% sure what my heart will feel on that day. Thankful for our family having made it this far? Hurt that Camryn still is battling a disease that is just so unfair? Grateful that Wyatt is here bringing with him a gift unlike any other? Angry that this circle seems unending? Hopeful that maybe one day all of this will not be as defining as it is at this moment?
I'm not sure...but, I know that I struggle walking through these days. Oh if I could tell that mommy four years ago that she will never see the world the same.
Because she doesn't...
Believing that in this lull HE is carrying us through as HE has done time and again...even in the storm.
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- dana
- The journey has been nothing like I thought it would be, and yet I am thankful. Thankful for almost 11 years married to the most amazing man...almost 9 years with my little girl who has taught me more than she'll ever know...and 6 years with my little boy who daily, moment by moment reminds me that Jesus is in the details of life. The past 5 years have been rough and there are moments of hurt still, but daily it is a journey in being held by Jesus...and resting in His love for us.
5 comments:
Thinking of you. Hold that head up high, you've had 4 years of cancer but you've made it through 4 years of cancer. You are so much stronger than you realize. Please hug Camryn for me. I know I don't know you guys but I feel like I do and I pray for you everyday.
Always praying friend...especially as you enter the next few weeks. ((hugs))
Thinking of you all! Continue to stay strong. Praying that Feb goes smoothly. I Always have your family in my prayers!
In a completely different stance, I understand. *Hugs* to you. You have one incredibly strong family who stays so strong in your faith. Bless you and you beautiful children.
I was sure that I left comments in at least two of the other posts but I dont see them. I havent disappeared!! I can appreciate why you are feeling the way you are. I know I havent been through anything like this but you provide such a good insight into how this journey is that I can imagine feeling that way too. When everything was going to so great in my life I felt this fear that everything was going to turn upside down because surely life couldnt be this good. You have been through so much, just keep that faith, Feb will pass before you know it.
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