A mind of a five year old is a very powerful thing. This is what we have learned over the course of the past three days.
Let me catch you up...
On Friday morning Camryn really didn't eat much breakfast which was not surprising as now with her steroid lowered; her appetite is much smaller. I gave her her 8:00 medicine as she calls her cyclosporin and about 30 minutes later she threw up. I was frustrated with myself as hindsight I knew that she had not eaten enough. We tried to get her to eat a bit more but, that was not happening. The battle was on.
Over the course of Friday, Saturday and Sunday we had moments of no problem eating and meds to horrible moments of tears, throwing up and just refusal of taking meds altogether. Yes, it was a horrible three days. Both Jason and I were racking our brains to figure out if it was truly Camryn being sick with a stomch bug or her mind. I will admit there were moments when I could swear it was her mind...and then moments when it seemed to be that she was sick. Either way by Sunday night it had gotten to the point where she was going to miss meds and there was no making them up at this point.
We made the call...the dreaded call really.
Dr.A called us back. Jason talked with him about her personality, her demeanor, her fever or lack thereof...thankfully, we did not have to rush Camryn down to the ER and were able to make an appointment at clinic today. I cannot tell you how thankful I was when we could sleep in our own beds and go to clinic today. Dr.A said we needed labs and they wanted to take a look and make sure that maybe her GVH had not gotten any worse and maybe moved into her GI system.
Jason and Camryn headed down this morning and I won't lie I was incredibly nervous.
At this point I will admit that whenever Camryn hits one of these bumps the fears, worries and frustration reign supreme. It is hard for me to stay level headed, my mind goes to that place of absolute worst...relapse. That all of these little things is a sign of something much worse. I cried many tears, I admitted to Jason some of the greatest fears I have with Camryn...I screamed at my Lord wanting so desperately to understand *why*. Quite honestly I did not have a pretty three days...
At clinic today Dr.A and Berkley saw Camryn and it was determined that she was fine. Her labs looked good, she looked good...she did get some IV fluids for dehydration for throwing up. They hung out in our all too familiar procedure center with nurses we love so much. Dr.A determined to prescribe Camryn a nausea patch; she wore one in the hospital throughout radiation and chemo. It worked great then...so he was hopeful that maybe that would help her get over her fears and eat and take her meds again.
After they finished up at procedure they went to the pharmacy in the big hospital (as Camryn calls it) to pick up the patches. While waiting they ran into on of our most favorite doctors Dr.K (she has been with us since Feb of 2006) so she knows Camryn well. Dr.K asked Jason why there were there he explained what was going on with Camryn and true to Dr.K style she sat down, put her arm around Camryn and spoke to her so sweetly. Telling her that the patch worked sort of like magic to keep you from throwing up...she was awesome. Doctors like Dr.K are so unique and special, we thank the Lord for her.
Jason called me to let me know and my heart smiled, but the fears don't just leave. I got home and Camryn was a little better, still not a 100% herself. We got her to eat a little bit of lunch and take some meds...she did ok. A little later she took more meds and did well. Ate some dinner and took the 8:00 medicine and did super! She's much more herself...playing, laughing, singing; just being herself.
This journey is a very powerful thing...life has changed dramatically. In a heartbeat it seems things could change and it is hard to live in that all the time. Never quite trusting the ground you are walking on, fearing the bottom falling out. I know I should live in the realities of the Lord's plan and I am. But some days He and I have heavy conversations of reality...of being real. Because this is real...
We are parents to a little girl that has a much longer list of issues than most and I know we are not alone. I know that the Lord is carrying us through...but that doesn't always mean it is pretty and neatly tied up in a bow. It gets messy, it gets ugly and yet it gets beautiful because of Him.
I read a quote yesterday that said something to the effect that "God is in the mix with us." And He is. He knows that struggles of my heart to make sense of all of this, to try to live in these realities that I find myself. To be a solid, steady place for Camryn and Wyatt too. To be real with this...
Because cancer is a powerful thing...but Praise Be To Jesus that He has overcome! Maybe not here and right now, but when the story ends He wins and that is a powerful thing.
Even in the moments when defeat sets in.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
many thanks...
The very fact that a man is thankful implies someone to be thankful to. ~ John Baillie
My friend in Tennessee posted that yesterday morning and I thought it was so great I borrowed it...
Thanksgiving seems to be something that we should be doing daily...moment by moment, expressing our thanks for the many things that the Lord has blessed our lives with. And maybe saying thank you for the many things that He has spared us from. But, it is amazing to have a day set aside to "thank" Him, to spend time with family, to celebrate, to be content and yes of course eat.
Yesterday we spent time with my parents at there house, my mom loves to cook and Thanksgiving meals are some of her finest. Now I will admit (and I get much grief for this) I do not like turkey, therefore, the food of thanksgiving has never been the draw for me. When I was younger it was time spent with my family, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents...yes, that was what Thanksgiving meant to me. And you know...I am beginning to see in my children a love for the holiday for the very reasons I love it and that is just so cool.
In the afternoon we headed out to Jason's sister's house to celebrate with the Mikels side. Boy did the kids enjoy it. They loved seeing their cousins so much...honestly I think we spent a majority of our evening just watching the kids enjoy one another. They Mikels kids are quite a bunch and really I am so thankful that Camryn and Wyatt have the cousins they do. What an amazing blessing it is to watch them grow up with their cousins local, amazing friendships they will share.
Now, it is the day after Thanksgiving and we are enjoying ourselves. The Christmas tree is up thanks to Camryn's prodding and Wyatt was right there with her prodding us on. The house now is very festive and it's fun. More and more watching the kids enjoy the holidays I realize what a gift they are...
I think to sum it up the best I will quote Camryn's "turkey of thanks"...
* My mom and dad
* My little brother
* My teacher
* Food
* My papas and grandmas
* Jesus for making me better
Doesn't get much better than that, does it?
My friend in Tennessee posted that yesterday morning and I thought it was so great I borrowed it...
Thanksgiving seems to be something that we should be doing daily...moment by moment, expressing our thanks for the many things that the Lord has blessed our lives with. And maybe saying thank you for the many things that He has spared us from. But, it is amazing to have a day set aside to "thank" Him, to spend time with family, to celebrate, to be content and yes of course eat.
Yesterday we spent time with my parents at there house, my mom loves to cook and Thanksgiving meals are some of her finest. Now I will admit (and I get much grief for this) I do not like turkey, therefore, the food of thanksgiving has never been the draw for me. When I was younger it was time spent with my family, cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents...yes, that was what Thanksgiving meant to me. And you know...I am beginning to see in my children a love for the holiday for the very reasons I love it and that is just so cool.
In the afternoon we headed out to Jason's sister's house to celebrate with the Mikels side. Boy did the kids enjoy it. They loved seeing their cousins so much...honestly I think we spent a majority of our evening just watching the kids enjoy one another. They Mikels kids are quite a bunch and really I am so thankful that Camryn and Wyatt have the cousins they do. What an amazing blessing it is to watch them grow up with their cousins local, amazing friendships they will share.
Now, it is the day after Thanksgiving and we are enjoying ourselves. The Christmas tree is up thanks to Camryn's prodding and Wyatt was right there with her prodding us on. The house now is very festive and it's fun. More and more watching the kids enjoy the holidays I realize what a gift they are...
I think to sum it up the best I will quote Camryn's "turkey of thanks"...
* My mom and dad
* My little brother
* My teacher
* Food
* My papas and grandmas
* Jesus for making me better
Doesn't get much better than that, does it?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
when the tears fall...
Honestly last week hit me like a load of bricks on Sunday...I've struggled to know exactly how to put my thoughts into words exactly, and I guess sometimes I feel that I've found it and other times that the words are escaping me. Either way a ton of bricks fell and little by little I am digging my way out.
I guess it comes with the territory, but being back in the all too familiar brings back a flood of memories that are just heavy for one's heart. I have heard that smell is a strong sensory emotion and I cannot deny that. Every time we find ourselves back on the Hemoc floor the mere smell of the soap for Camryn's baths can bring me to tears. I vividly remember bathing her during her first transplant her little body; two and a half years old. So little to have to be enduring all of this. And I can vividly remember bathing her at five years old, her hair starting to fall out and thinking she is too little to have to be enduring all of this...
You see anytime we walk the hallway, anytime we pull into the parking lot, anytime we drive over the hill; simply anytime we deal with Camryn's hospital life the memories flood in and my heart sometimes just is overwhelmed.
And even in the midst of the tears I have a hard time understanding...I really do not like all of this. I wish that when Camryn got a fever I could treat it like most parents do, give her some Tylenol and wait it out. I long for a time when Camryn was like most kids I know, when she did not have these realities to live with. Yes, Camryn lives within these realities well, quite honestly I wonder just how in the world she does it. I wonder if she is just blessed with a spirit that can understand things that even I don't. I wonder if maybe the Lord just walks her through life in ways that leave me speechless...
This morning was one of those moments...
Camryn headed to clinic and even though I knew she did not want to go; did not want to be down there again after all she was just there for three days last week...she went without a fight, without a fuss and did what she does best, walked through the moment with grace. Jason headed down with Camryn as I had already missed three days of work last week and we are trying out best to even out of days missed. As they left I just felt a bit of my heart ache that this is her life...and so badly I wish this wasn't so. I wish she did not have to *deal* with all she has too...seems so unfair to me.
A little while later my phone rang and it was Jason with Camryn chatting loudly in the background...her steroids were lowered again!!! She was so excited, plus she was passing along hellos to me from the nurses and doctors she saw today. Yep, she did great at clinic and got to see her *favorites and friends*. Dr.M was pleased to see Camryn and felt that she was doing very well, he was happy that she seems to have knocked the fever, but still has a little bug left over (a cough and a watery eye). Jason asked about going to the Hemoc Christmas Party next week and Dr.M said we could make a cameo appearance for a quick bit and then leave...so we will. We will be able to say hello to everyone and hopefully see a few friends and then head home early, which lately is the way it is.
Camryn is continually doing well...GVH rash is still there ever so slightly, but not spreading or getting worse. The GVH is welcomed, as Dr.K told Camryn today, "GVH is the key for curing the leukemia." And that is a hope we are clinging to ever so tightly.
The holiday season seems to bring tears more readily than others...maybe because last year at this time we were out in the world for the first time at Christmas and it felt so good to somewhat put leukemia behind us. And now a year later we are fully immersed in the leukemia world again...funny how things change so dramatically in a year or even a day around here.
Because the tears fall...
~ Newsboys
I almost wish that the tears would not come so often...and yet when they do they seem to provide some healing. The Lord is faithful and true even in the midst of the moments that I do not understand...
And I know there will continue to be moments throughout our journey when the only response is tears...and many times those tears are happy and thankful tears and sometimes they are confused, grasping and searching tears.
When the tears fall, I am thankful He is there to wipe them...
I guess it comes with the territory, but being back in the all too familiar brings back a flood of memories that are just heavy for one's heart. I have heard that smell is a strong sensory emotion and I cannot deny that. Every time we find ourselves back on the Hemoc floor the mere smell of the soap for Camryn's baths can bring me to tears. I vividly remember bathing her during her first transplant her little body; two and a half years old. So little to have to be enduring all of this. And I can vividly remember bathing her at five years old, her hair starting to fall out and thinking she is too little to have to be enduring all of this...
You see anytime we walk the hallway, anytime we pull into the parking lot, anytime we drive over the hill; simply anytime we deal with Camryn's hospital life the memories flood in and my heart sometimes just is overwhelmed.
And even in the midst of the tears I have a hard time understanding...I really do not like all of this. I wish that when Camryn got a fever I could treat it like most parents do, give her some Tylenol and wait it out. I long for a time when Camryn was like most kids I know, when she did not have these realities to live with. Yes, Camryn lives within these realities well, quite honestly I wonder just how in the world she does it. I wonder if she is just blessed with a spirit that can understand things that even I don't. I wonder if maybe the Lord just walks her through life in ways that leave me speechless...
This morning was one of those moments...
Camryn headed to clinic and even though I knew she did not want to go; did not want to be down there again after all she was just there for three days last week...she went without a fight, without a fuss and did what she does best, walked through the moment with grace. Jason headed down with Camryn as I had already missed three days of work last week and we are trying out best to even out of days missed. As they left I just felt a bit of my heart ache that this is her life...and so badly I wish this wasn't so. I wish she did not have to *deal* with all she has too...seems so unfair to me.
A little while later my phone rang and it was Jason with Camryn chatting loudly in the background...her steroids were lowered again!!! She was so excited, plus she was passing along hellos to me from the nurses and doctors she saw today. Yep, she did great at clinic and got to see her *favorites and friends*. Dr.M was pleased to see Camryn and felt that she was doing very well, he was happy that she seems to have knocked the fever, but still has a little bug left over (a cough and a watery eye). Jason asked about going to the Hemoc Christmas Party next week and Dr.M said we could make a cameo appearance for a quick bit and then leave...so we will. We will be able to say hello to everyone and hopefully see a few friends and then head home early, which lately is the way it is.
Camryn is continually doing well...GVH rash is still there ever so slightly, but not spreading or getting worse. The GVH is welcomed, as Dr.K told Camryn today, "GVH is the key for curing the leukemia." And that is a hope we are clinging to ever so tightly.
The holiday season seems to bring tears more readily than others...maybe because last year at this time we were out in the world for the first time at Christmas and it felt so good to somewhat put leukemia behind us. And now a year later we are fully immersed in the leukemia world again...funny how things change so dramatically in a year or even a day around here.
Because the tears fall...
I've had questions, without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
but there's one thing, that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true
when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
in the lone hour of my sorrow
through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
my defender, forevermore
when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
and I will praise You, I will praise You
when the tears fall, still I will sing to You
and I will praise You, Jesus praise You
through the suffering still I will sing
when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
oh yes, You are good to me
You've always been good to me
so trustworthy
when hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
when pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
when silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart
and I will praise You, and I will praise You
when the tears fall, still I will sing to You
(I will sing to You) I will praise You,
Jesus praise You through the suffering
still I will sing
how faithful and true
sustain me through and through
You are hope and truth
You're my spring of living water
You're my spring of living water
in the lone hour of my sorrow
who springs never fail
be faithful and true
like...
like a spring it never fails
you're my spring never fails
~ Newsboys
I almost wish that the tears would not come so often...and yet when they do they seem to provide some healing. The Lord is faithful and true even in the midst of the moments that I do not understand...
And I know there will continue to be moments throughout our journey when the only response is tears...and many times those tears are happy and thankful tears and sometimes they are confused, grasping and searching tears.
When the tears fall, I am thankful He is there to wipe them...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
weekend happenings...
After spending three days at the hospital this week we were looking forward to our weekend together...the little blessings really mean the most. And being home together is quite possibly one of the greatest blessings. We are thankful to have us all home...none more than Wyatt I think. Poor little guy really had a hard time the days that Camryn and I were gone; breaks my heart that these are his realities too. Thankful that there were lots of hours spend playing this weekend...lots of smiles and lots of hugs.
Saturday was spent with Jason and I running to the grocery store while the kids hung out with my parents...Camryn had missed going to Grandma's house so it was nice to for them to spend some time there. Jason and I enjoyed our few moments shopping, it was nice to catch up after our three day whirlwind of hospital life. We chatted, laughed and talked through some holiday thoughts. The afternoon was spent watching college football and just hanging out...whew, what a much needed breather. It was a wonderful Saturday...so thankful!
Sunday...I must admit that Sundays are very hard days for me lately, I think it just makes the realities of isolated life that much more pronounced. Throughout the week isolated life is there, but it doesn't seem to be so glaring, but Sundays; well, there is no escaping it. I really miss our Sunday life...church, friends, social outings and such, I miss that. So lately Sundays have been hard; but I know it's bound to happen...especially after three days of being thrown back into the hospital world.
But today we cleaned the house...and now I'm enjoying it immensely! We also wanted to get things cleaned in preparation for Christmas decorating soon. As you might know we have Little Miss Holiday Spirit in our home so as soon as Thanksgiving is over...she's ready to bust out Christmas! So that's on the list for Friday and Saturday...
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend...and enjoy your Thanksgiving week!
Saturday was spent with Jason and I running to the grocery store while the kids hung out with my parents...Camryn had missed going to Grandma's house so it was nice to for them to spend some time there. Jason and I enjoyed our few moments shopping, it was nice to catch up after our three day whirlwind of hospital life. We chatted, laughed and talked through some holiday thoughts. The afternoon was spent watching college football and just hanging out...whew, what a much needed breather. It was a wonderful Saturday...so thankful!
Sunday...I must admit that Sundays are very hard days for me lately, I think it just makes the realities of isolated life that much more pronounced. Throughout the week isolated life is there, but it doesn't seem to be so glaring, but Sundays; well, there is no escaping it. I really miss our Sunday life...church, friends, social outings and such, I miss that. So lately Sundays have been hard; but I know it's bound to happen...especially after three days of being thrown back into the hospital world.
But today we cleaned the house...and now I'm enjoying it immensely! We also wanted to get things cleaned in preparation for Christmas decorating soon. As you might know we have Little Miss Holiday Spirit in our home so as soon as Thanksgiving is over...she's ready to bust out Christmas! So that's on the list for Friday and Saturday...
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend...and enjoy your Thanksgiving week!
Friday, November 20, 2009
home...
How sweet it is to be posting this from the comforts of our home. Camryn got her release orders today so home sweet home it is for us hopefully for long time!
The doctors came in this morning with news that so far Camryn's cultures were still negative. They would call that lab at 10:00am to confirm negative results as that would mark 48hours...so we waited. Luckily Camryn slept in until 9:30; because once she heard the possibility of 10:00 she was impatient as can be. As we waited it became clear that the doctors would discharge us if the cultures had remained negative...and as of 7:00 they were negative and it was hard to think that in 3 hours something would show up, but stranger things have happened.
As Camryn and I waited she played on the laptop and I read watching the clock move ever so slowly...finally Dr.C came in and announced, "going home!". Camryn got the biggest grin on her face, she was thrilled. I quickly called my dad to come get us, as keeping a car at UCLA at the rate of parking just seems a bit insane. After I made the call I started packing up the few things we had there. Camryn's nurse came in with discharge papers and I signed off, thankfully we did not have to wait for meds and such because Camryn has a full round of prescriptions at home. Her nurse was great helping us gather any supplies we needed for line changes and such...it was great.
My dad made great time and at 12:15 my phone rang and he was waiting for us. We said our good-byes and walked down an all too familiar hallway to the door that leads to the outside world. Camryn was thrilled to be *out* and when she saw my dad she was just happy as can be.
Home...
Camryn and Wyatt have been going strong all afternoon and quite honestly you would never know that she just spent 2 days in the hospital. Even at this moment they are playing hard and going strong! Boy do they miss each other and make up for the days apart a 100%.
We are thankful to be home...so incredibly thankful! So thankful that it seems that it was only a common cold and nothing more serious than that. We know that any fever will lead us back there, so we are praying that no more fevers are in our future for awhile.
Camryn did great throughout it all, but truly she knows better than most that there truly is no place like home.
The doctors came in this morning with news that so far Camryn's cultures were still negative. They would call that lab at 10:00am to confirm negative results as that would mark 48hours...so we waited. Luckily Camryn slept in until 9:30; because once she heard the possibility of 10:00 she was impatient as can be. As we waited it became clear that the doctors would discharge us if the cultures had remained negative...and as of 7:00 they were negative and it was hard to think that in 3 hours something would show up, but stranger things have happened.
As Camryn and I waited she played on the laptop and I read watching the clock move ever so slowly...finally Dr.C came in and announced, "going home!". Camryn got the biggest grin on her face, she was thrilled. I quickly called my dad to come get us, as keeping a car at UCLA at the rate of parking just seems a bit insane. After I made the call I started packing up the few things we had there. Camryn's nurse came in with discharge papers and I signed off, thankfully we did not have to wait for meds and such because Camryn has a full round of prescriptions at home. Her nurse was great helping us gather any supplies we needed for line changes and such...it was great.
My dad made great time and at 12:15 my phone rang and he was waiting for us. We said our good-byes and walked down an all too familiar hallway to the door that leads to the outside world. Camryn was thrilled to be *out* and when she saw my dad she was just happy as can be.
Home...
Camryn and Wyatt have been going strong all afternoon and quite honestly you would never know that she just spent 2 days in the hospital. Even at this moment they are playing hard and going strong! Boy do they miss each other and make up for the days apart a 100%.
We are thankful to be home...so incredibly thankful! So thankful that it seems that it was only a common cold and nothing more serious than that. We know that any fever will lead us back there, so we are praying that no more fevers are in our future for awhile.
Camryn did great throughout it all, but truly she knows better than most that there truly is no place like home.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
realizing this is what it is...
Today has been a good day for Camryn, she's been her normal self and it has been so great. She is enjoying being amongst friends, yes her doctors and nurses are her friends...she hates being away from home, but she does enjoy seeing her familiar friends again. I won't lie, I do too.
A weird thing happens when you spend over 3 years with people who care deeply and take such sweet care of your little girl...they become a community to which you owe much. I do not like living hospital life, but I do like what hospital life has given me...it's a weird balance, a weird reality.
Camryn's cultures continue to be negative, yay! Her nasal wash also came back negative on all the respiratory tests: seasonal flu, swine flu and RSV...so thankful. She is doing well with the IV antibiotics and as the nurses say Camryn is on the "big guns"...the broad sweeping, powerful drugs to knock out anything and everything Camryn could possibly have. As of right now Camryn has been fever free since yesterday morning at 10am...so almost 36 hours, only 12 more to go and we'll hit 48 the magic number.
Tomorrow we should hear the official word to get discharged...hopefully! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...we are so thankful for them.
Throughout this hospital stay I've noticed something about myself...settling on that this is what it is. As much as I want to have this not be our life, it is. As much as I would love to never be here again, I cannot escape that this could be a very real possibility. As I was talking to Dr.A today he mentioned that right now where Camryn is at and her being a relapsed transplant patient they are going to be extra cautious and careful...and I get that, really I do.
There is much peace found when you realize that this is what it is...the Lord will meet us here no matter what. He is here...always. I know I can fight this with everything I have, but really what is the point. Our lives are different than most, but there is a comfort to be found on a lone hallway at UCLA...a group of doctors, nurses, parents and kids who fight what it is with everything they've got.
Yes, these are the true heroes...and what it is, is a precious one sleeping in her bed tonight.
Love you Camryn Lee...so proud of you.
A weird thing happens when you spend over 3 years with people who care deeply and take such sweet care of your little girl...they become a community to which you owe much. I do not like living hospital life, but I do like what hospital life has given me...it's a weird balance, a weird reality.
Camryn's cultures continue to be negative, yay! Her nasal wash also came back negative on all the respiratory tests: seasonal flu, swine flu and RSV...so thankful. She is doing well with the IV antibiotics and as the nurses say Camryn is on the "big guns"...the broad sweeping, powerful drugs to knock out anything and everything Camryn could possibly have. As of right now Camryn has been fever free since yesterday morning at 10am...so almost 36 hours, only 12 more to go and we'll hit 48 the magic number.
Tomorrow we should hear the official word to get discharged...hopefully! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers...we are so thankful for them.
Throughout this hospital stay I've noticed something about myself...settling on that this is what it is. As much as I want to have this not be our life, it is. As much as I would love to never be here again, I cannot escape that this could be a very real possibility. As I was talking to Dr.A today he mentioned that right now where Camryn is at and her being a relapsed transplant patient they are going to be extra cautious and careful...and I get that, really I do.
There is much peace found when you realize that this is what it is...the Lord will meet us here no matter what. He is here...always. I know I can fight this with everything I have, but really what is the point. Our lives are different than most, but there is a comfort to be found on a lone hallway at UCLA...a group of doctors, nurses, parents and kids who fight what it is with everything they've got.
Yes, these are the true heroes...and what it is, is a precious one sleeping in her bed tonight.
Love you Camryn Lee...so proud of you.
mercies are new...
A new day is upon us and thankfully Camryn had a fever free night. Praising the Lord! She slept super well and got some much needed rest...thankfully she does not have too many interruptions throughout the night.
Right now we are just hanging out, the doctors should be rounding soon and we will get an update on the cultures and such. Right now Camryn is doing well, no fevers so that is a huge blessing...she does have a little cough and a little runny nose, but otherwise she's doing well.
In a few minutes we'll do her bath and get some clean clothes and wait for Grandma Mikels to come...so thankful our parents are close and willing to come give Camryn some company, she enjoys it.
We are doing alright, I had a hard night just feeling like this is a cycle we will never escape and it's overwhelming at times. I really wish at some point a reprieve would come, but for now this is what our life is. Never too far out of the fray it seems...
But, as I opened the blinds today I was reminded that His mercies are new every morning...
And for today that is enough.
Right now we are just hanging out, the doctors should be rounding soon and we will get an update on the cultures and such. Right now Camryn is doing well, no fevers so that is a huge blessing...she does have a little cough and a little runny nose, but otherwise she's doing well.
In a few minutes we'll do her bath and get some clean clothes and wait for Grandma Mikels to come...so thankful our parents are close and willing to come give Camryn some company, she enjoys it.
We are doing alright, I had a hard night just feeling like this is a cycle we will never escape and it's overwhelming at times. I really wish at some point a reprieve would come, but for now this is what our life is. Never too far out of the fray it seems...
But, as I opened the blinds today I was reminded that His mercies are new every morning...
And for today that is enough.
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