thoughts...

This has been a rough week in our household, many tears cried and many nights spent wondering what tomorrow might hold. Camryn has endured quite a week, with moments of feeling half way okay, but then moments of utter desperation. Wyatt has hated watching his big sister sick, he has tried with all his might to make her smile; but most of all he misses his best playmate ever. Jason and I are tired, Christmas vacation cannot come soon enough. We both need some time to catch our breaths since work started again, but mostly from this past week.



Even in the midst of the moments when Camryn has felt her absolute worst she is a fighter unlike any other. Moments this week were spent with tears streaming down her face explaining that it's not fair that she has to take all these medicines, that this just stinks...and yet she does it. She knows that it is what she needs, even if it is not what she wants.



Oh, this little face who is now closer to six than she is five...where in the world did the time go? How is it possible that this coming February will mark four years of her battle with leukemia? And yet...she captures my heart unlike any other. We would not trade a moment spent with her with anything...she has taught us much and for her we are grateful.



Sometimes I wonder what a story this little face could tell...Wyatt has not had the normal experience that most three year olds do. He has watched his sister take medicines, get her nightly shots, he helps with her line changes, he really has a very limited social life...all for the sake of his sister. He has donated cord blood, bone marrow...he has loved her and loved her well. Oh this little boy brings such hope and promise to our lives, we find ourselves most richly blessed by Wyatt.



How in the world did she get this big? Today has been a good day for Camryn and in light of this past week that is a very good thing. She threw up a little this morning, but since then has been much more herself...playing, chatting, talking up a storm and yes trying to eat. Now her appetite is not anything stellar, but little by little it's coming! We are so thrilled to be seeing glimpses of our little girl back...



Three years old...so much of Wyatt's life is marked by leukemia as it was a part of our lives only four days less than he was. But yet, the Lord's most precious gift to us came wrapped in a little guy named Wy whose smile and grin says it all...this life is to be lived...and God is good, always..




Oh how these two make the ride worthwhile...yes our journey as a family of four has not been anything that we would have chosen, but it has brought us closer. There is a bond unlike any other between these two...and as their mom I could not ask for more. Yes, this is not the dream I had of motherhood; this is not what I ever imagined it to be like...but it is enough, more than enough.



These were pictures taken today at the park. For the past couple weeks I have been wanting to go to try to get a picture for our Christmas card. Normally, I have a picture or two selected but not this year. This year I struggled to think how to capture our family...as we have gone through quite a transformation in 2009. So I thought it best to capture us in the now...in December of 2009. Because as we know lots can change between Christmases...