fish out of water...

Last night I did it...I actually went to the class for parents where I teach. I will honestly say that I was nervous, anxious and seriously considered just not going. I know, it's just a class right?

Jason lovingly encouraged me to go and see...give it one week.

I did...and I will be going back.

For so much of Camryn's journey and Wyatt's journey I have felt quite literally like a fish out of water. Like I really don't fit too many places, that there are many social situations that are very awkward for me. I knew this would be one of those...

I tire of telling our story at times...I have to tell it a lot and sometimes I would rather just drift into the background and be a no one. After all that is what my life feels like a lot of times...that no one really sees what is taking place within our family of four. That the struggles are there where Camryn's labs are great or bad...that this is a journey and quite frankly we are no where near the end.

I walked into the room and swallowed hard, thankfully the teacher of the class is a friend of mine who knows Camryn's story and understands the dreams delayed that we are living through. As parents were chatting before the class, I found myself wanting to run away...what do I say, "My daughter was supposed to be in kindergarten...she had leukemia...bone marrow transplant."? Yes, that is exactly what I said when a mom turned to me and said, "What room is your child in?". I smiled and very politely and very tactfully explained where my daughter was...and you know what? For the first time in a long time I didn't feel weird, I didn't feel completely out of it...the mom smiled and said, "I am so sorry...I will stop complaining about my life...". We went on to chat for a minute and then my friend picked on me to introduce myself first...so I did.

I am Dana Mikels. I teach 8th grade History here at Village and my daughter Camryn should be in kindergarten here, but she had leukemia and a bone marrow transplant and our hope is for her to be here in first grade. So, Mrs.V invited me to come and get a head start on this program...

To which Mrs.V replied, "We've been praying for our little sweetie Camryn and we cannot wait until she is here with us."

And that was it...I survived. I breathed deeply the rest of the night, interacted and learned and felt very much like a bit of myself was returning.

At the end of the class we closed in prayer and after the Amen was said one of the Dad's said, "and pray for healing for Camryn." And one mom said..."I hope Camryn and my son can be classmates in first grade."

Really? These were complete strangers to me and yet they reached out to me in very tangible ways...ways that meant so much.

Yes, it was a class...but the Lord provided some huge healing for me.

Thanks for the prayers and encouragement...I so needed it.