Jason and I got away for a few days this week...we headed out to Palm Springs for some sun, rest and relaxation. I must admit it was a much needed time away. Many thanks to our parents for watching our kids...from what I hear they had a wonderful time with their grandparents.
If I'm honest it was quite wonderful to not administer medications, shots or deal with anything else having to do with life post-transplant. I actually felt like I was breathing for the first time in months...not that I didn't miss Camryn and Wyatt I did. I missed them so incredibly much...what I didn't miss was the little realities of life right now. It felt good to just go an do...to not weigh every decision through the "can Camryn do that right now" filter.
I guess I forget while living as a mother of a child who has had cancer, two transplants and more chemo than I ever thought possible that it is a heavy weight. I forget the toll it takes...
It felt good to escape for a few days, but then reality comes and I'm finding that really there is no escaping. This is what life is...
A battle really. A battle to daily lay the concerns, realities and all that comes with Camryn's leukemia at the Lord's feet. To allow my heart room to live again...to escape in Him...I guess that really is what I am realizing.
That in Him I can rest...it is hard to completely rest at home as a mom with chores, laundry and little ones who need this and that...but, yet in Him I can rest.
Rest in the realities that He is carrying us through whether it is on a mini-vacation or day to day living life at home. No matter to Him...
So for now I'll work on escaping to Him...realizing that He is where true rest is found.
It was just a lot easier in Palm Springs...
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4 comments:
Praying that you can continue to rest in Him, that He will strengthen you in the day to day moments that are so draining. That He will strengthen you for the long haul, adn that His hands are constantly felt around you
I'm so glad you guys were able to get away! And glad you were able to enjoy yourselves. Love and miss you guys!
Glad you were able to get some time alone together and get a breather. We are praying that you "He" would continue to carry you as you make it through all of this. I am inspired by your strength. My daughters have "minor" medical issues that leave me feeling weary at times. I understand the feeling of constantly giving meds. Sometimes I feel like a walking pharmacy!
So glad you were able to get away for a bit to just breathe and "be".
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