band - aids...scars...remedies

Have you ever noticed how incredibly proud little kids are of their "boo-boos"? I laugh as if Camryn needs a band - aid here comes Wyatt to get one too; it's all the rage. Really? I smile as they pick out the perfect band - aid, one that they can wear with pride. Have you ever noticed that those band - aids hold a world of healing all by themselves?

I have...

Because as some of you know the last almost 3 years have held lots of "band - aid" moments if you will. Moments when all you want to do is cover the hurt and hope that it heals and that whoever takes the band - aid off does it gently.

But sometimes those hurts leave scars.

Scars are a funny thing...a reminder of some "accident" or event that happened. Camryn wears her central line scar like a badge, when she takes a bath or changes her clothes she will point it out. "Here is my scar", she'll say. And as I gaze at that scar my mind is flooded with a thousand other scars that I carry on my heart. There are a few other scars on Camryn that she can't see, because they are on her lower back, by her hips...marks of the many bone marrow aspirations she had. I see them and remember the first time she was put under...the first of many bone marrow aspirations. Holding her hand as she gently slipped away from me and I was taken out of the room and anxiously awaited outside so I would be there when she woke up. Yes, those are scars that somehow I cannot erase...but, the bigger question is do I want to?

You see in those scars I am driven to find the remedy. The healing saave on the wounds of my heart...the One who will hold my heart until the hurt goes away. I won't lie after almost 3 years the hurt comes in ways I least expect it and some times I feel as if it will drown me. So, I cry out to the One who is the remedy...

I shared this song on our other website, but the words are so incredibly powerful that I want to share it here as well...

Remedy...

Here we are
Here we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one
Who came like a Son
Here You are

So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love
That we can’t comprehend

Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us

So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things
That have kept us from Him

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy


Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy

So sing, sing

You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy

Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy

~ David Crowder Band

I do not pretend to understand what the Lord is doing with my life nor the lives of those around me. There are moments when I desparately long to understand, to catch a glimpse of the reasons...and yet, I am left longing. The one thing I do know and cling to each day is that the Lord will make it right...He will wipe every tear from my eyes...He will redeem...He will. And until that day I will hold ever so tightly to my remedy...My Savior.