thankful.grateful...blessed

we had a wonderful thanksgiving and sadly i don't have a single picture to show for it...so, you'll have to take my word for it. :)

jason had the whole week off (thank you lausd furlough days) so he got to partake in some of the kids school cuteness.  on monday wyatt's class had a thanksgiving feast, the amazing room moms set up the feast in the teaching garden...it was darling!  the kids ate a traditional thanksgiving dinner and enjoyed each other's company.  it was fun that jason got to go, as i was busy solving problems at school with high school students. boo!  but, jay got to go and that was a very fun treat for him!  later that afternoon was the thanksgiving assembly...what a cute fun program.  wyatt was a pilgrim this year and recited psalms 100 and sang a very cute thanksgiving song about the pilgrims coming in 1620!  darling!  i forgot my camera, so sadly no pictures. :(  camryn's class played a sang and played a song on their recorders, it was so fun!  she was very proud of herself and even more excited that she gets to bring her recorder home for christmas vacation to practice (yea, we're all very excited about that [wink, wink]).  thanks to grandma mikels who joined the fun...it's always fun to watch the kids sing and do their program.  very thankful!

tuesday night was the home opener for the village basketball team...there was much anticipation in the house as wyatt has grown to like basketball very much and is very fond of a few of the players.  the game was super fun, but even more watching the kids hang out in the gym with their friends...it was a neat moment.  on the way home jason commented that is was cool that our kids are growing up knowing high school students and dreaming of playing in the gym on day.  they are crusaders for sure.  but, he also commented that it is fun getting to know the other families as some of us will potentially travel 13 years of schooling together...crazy.  but, so grateful for these new found friends and the fun of basketball together.

wednesday jason and i did a little christmas shopping...i will admit i was in a bit of a funk.  just wasn't feeling the best and was a bit overwhelmed with vacation.  odd isn't it...i long for vacation i thoroughly anticipate time off and then when it comes i overwhelm myself with a long list of to do's.  i also realized that all my time off is coordinated with the kids time off, so yes i would like a few moments of me time...hoping to plan that in during christmas vacation.  as the kids told me we'll have 19 days together...yes, i think i'll sneak in a few me moments. :)

thursday was a wonderful day spent with my parents and my nephew caleb.  we ate good food, watched a lot of football, played games, the kids played outside, and we worked on camryn's book report puppet.  my mom had told camryn that she would teach her to sew and she did...it was precious to watch my mom patiently teach cam how to sew all by herself.  camryn did great and her puppet looks so good...all we helped her with was the glue.  her ideas and her creativity...so fun to watch her blossom and grow.  later that evening i felt so sick...just awful so we came home and i rested and jason headed out to the black friday sales.  he's a trooper and got what he wanted and was home by 10:00, not bad!  

friday was lots of fun at the mikels house for our thanksgiving with them.  jason's sister came down with the cousins, so it was a full house with lots of fun, laughter, and volume! :)  it was great to be with family and watch the kids enjoy their cousins.  one of the greatest blessings in my life has been my cousins, so it is wonderful to watch cam & wy enjoy life with theirs.  lots of playing, lots of coloring, games, movies, and just fun...a blessing for sure!  later in the evening me and my sister-in-laws headed to the grove to go to the american girl store, it was a spur of the moment trip but lots of fun!  just fun to do something together as most of the time we are in full mommy mode...fun to hang out and laugh!  

our vacation was full of fun and family...we are incredibly blessed by them.  i am thankful that camryn & wyatt's lives are full of great family and special friends.  it is a blessing beyond measure...thanks to the lord for his many gifts in our lives.

i was struck by the necessity to thank the lord for all he's done...the good and the not so good...the moments of darkness and of light.  the lord is good...so good to me.

thanks jesus for your indescribable gifts.

november it is...

this past week has been a blur...seriously, i'm amazed we made it through.  

* tuesday - we had camryn's first quarter conference.  our girl is doing great in third grade...honestly, we never tire of hearing just how "normal" cam is.  after a rough patch with timed multiplication tests, camryn has seemed to find her stride.  she did much better and was very happy with her report card.  we were so happy to sit with cam's teacher, miss e as she explained camryn's progress...allowed us to share our concerns and just chat about third grade life.  my favorite moment of the conference was when miss e said "i'd like to pray for camryn".  yes, my heart smiled...i love the gift that camryn's teacher prays for her, but most of all prays for camryn's heart.  that she would come to know jesus...a precious gift.  after we finished up the conference we went up to find the kids who were hanging out with my bff tina...honestly, not quite sure where in the world i'd be these past almost 7 years without her.  we got dinner with the austs...watched some volleyball, and enjoyed time with our dear friends.

* wednesday = halloween - i do have pictures to post which i will do soon, i promise.  but, for now let me say we had a very fun, yet exhausting halloween.  camryn had decided to be a usc cheerleader and wyatt had decided to be a vcs basketball player...they looked super cute.  we headed to church to meet up with the cousins to take some pictures and enjoy time with them.  love spending time with the mikels.  after church we headed to camryn's friend p's house.  we had been invited to experience halloween at the estates (a local halloween hot spot).  we have not done traditional trick or treating in a long time, so we thought it would be fun (especially since the kids did not have school the next day).  we had a blast watching the kids run from house to house with their friends, it was just a fun night.  we also realized that the estates are crazy, insane for halloween...tons and tons of kids.  it was a fun change and we were thankful for new found friendships with our kids' school friends parents...a blessing.

* thursday - we had wyatt's conference this afternoon.  it was a busy day and really i was wiped out, but we made it through.  wyatt's conference went super well, he is doing fabulously in first grade.  his teacher mrs.a talked and talked about what a great little guy he is.  wyatt is excelling at reading which makes this momma's heart happy...so we're having to develop some challenge for him.  wyatt loves school and he has done really well adjusting to the more academic nature of first grade.  he really enjoys math as well and does great with the new online math program...really, what kid doesn't love the computer, what a techno generation they are!  i appreciate wyatt's teacher so much, i taught her kids so it is a fun treasure for her to teach wyatt.  she is the sweetest and at the end of the conference she prayed for wyatt...brought tears to my eyes to think of this amazing boy that the lord has blessed our lives with.  he's doing so well...thankful!

* friday - we headed to the last regular season football game for village...the kids had a blast playing with their friend e, and their new found friends k, d, m...they had fun playing volleyball.  it was a fun night...and the crusaders won so it was that much better!

* weekend wrap up - we have had a great weekend...thoroughly enjoying the slower pace the weekend brings.  although the kids are a bit stir crazy due to the fact that they had thursday and friday off...they're ready to go to school tomorrow.  

thankful for november and the pause it brings to my heart to remember the lord's great faithfulness to us.  thankful for his many blessings.  thankful for friendships, new and old that continually bless our lives.  thankful for family, the amazing bonds that we share.

thankful.

{sometimes}

whew, where in the world is october going?

things have been really busy this month...lots of activities, lots of fun, lots of friends, and just lots of life.  i've been struck this month of where our lives were six years ago...camryn was 5 days post transplant six years ago.  wow, that just amazes me that she was here...

sometimes i just look back through pictures and smile...sometimes tears come.  sometimes i lash out in anger at all that was, and sometimes it's quiet and my heart feels peace. sometimes songs play and memories flood...like today during chapel at school we sang "Everlasting God".  i simply cannot sing that song without tears welling in my eyes, all the while a smile beams on my face...i listened to this song over and over while driving to ucla time and time again to see this face.

a face that held my heart then and holds my heart still.

october 2012 has brought a sense of peace, even in the midst of the craziness of life.  even in the midst of my dad's illness and hospital stay.  even in the midst of two of the most crazy, busy weeks in life.  even in the midst of a calendar whose dates are not simply numbers, but days that hold such memories.  even in the midst...because,

sometimes every one of us fears

like we’ll never be healed

sometimes 

sometimes every one of us aches

like we’ll never be saved

sometimes

when we’ve given up

let your healing come

when theres nothing left

let your healing come

til were risin up

let your healin come

where You go we will follow

where You go we will follow

it’s Your love that we adore

it’s like a sea without a shore

we’re lost in You, we're lost in You

it’s Your love that we adore

it’s like a sea without a shore

we’re lost in You, we're lost in You

Sometimes

~ David Crowder Band

i will not pretend that i have life tied up in a neat package with a beautiful bow...sometimes the storm that rages in my heart is difficult, ugly, and painful.  but, sometimes the joy that comes is glorious, oh so glorious if i allow His love to heal me.  i was struck this week as i read through 500 plus surveys of middle and high school students asking what they wish they were, what they wish they weren't, what they wish they did, and what they wish they didn't; that life is painful, extremely painful, and no one is immune. some of the hurts that were shared brought me to tears, my heart was incredibly heavy, and i felt as though i could feel my very heart break.  and then someone said it..."if it hurts us this much, what do you think it does to God's heart?" and that stopped me.  i've sang the lyrics time and time again..."break my heart with what breaks yours", but this time i felt it, this time i knew...that sometimes we need our broken hearts healed with the amazing love of Him.  the love of Christ lavished on us to know that we are not alone.

i had a moment last week when the world seemed very skewed, when all that was seemed unreal.  i got a call from the ucla number i know all too well.  it was the doctor who had ordered camryn's 11 vile blood draw to test her immune system...he said things looked good, but there was something alarming.  my heart sank to the floor, luckily i was sitting in my boss' office which kept me from losing it completely.  camryn's blood showed and abnormality for lupus.  my heart broke.  i finally mustered the courage to call camryn's nurse practitioner who seems to know all things about camryn...she had not seen the lab report, but would look into it.  by friday i hadn't heard and my heart was breaking into a million pieces.  i sent an email...i got a call from the ucla number later.  the conversation went something like this:

me: hello?

b: hi dana, it's b.  

me: hi b, thanks for calling.

b: i have looked at the lab sheet and i've talked to dr.moore.  he too has seen the lab sheet. and we don't see anything alarming, he does not want to to be concerned, he feels that everything is fine.  camryn is doing well.  

me: (tears welling) thank you b.  thank you.

b:  dana, don't worry.  she's okay, we are not concerned and we don't want you to be.  enjoy your weekend and again don't worry.

me: thank you b.  you all mean so much.

and sometimes the healing comes...

its your love we adore

its like a sea without a shore

don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid

just set your sail and risk the ocean

show me grace

let’s risk the ocean

show me grace

let’s risk the ocean

show me grace

let’s risk the ocean

show me grace

where you go we will follow

i’m on my knees

where you go we will follow

oh God send me

where you go we will follow

i’m on my knees

where you go we will follow

oh God send me

it’s your love that we adore

it’s like a sea without a shore

we’re lost in You, were lost in You

it’s your love that we adore

it’s like a sea without a shore

we’re lost in You, we're lost in You

where you go we will follow

where you go we will follow

i’m on my knees

where you go we will follow

oh God send me

~ David Crowder Band

and i take a deep breath knowing that healing comes, brokenness comes...

and it's His love that restores

it's in the genes...

yesterday, wyatt got the final birthday gift...golf clubs.  i will admit his list was very different this year:  basketball hoop, bike, dodger game, and golf clubs.  suffice it to say our little guy is quite a sportsman.  

when he told us he wanted golf clubs we knew exactly who we would talk to...grandpa mikels.  jason's dad is an avid golfer, he learned from his dad who was a golf pro at a resort in the pocono mountains...golf is in the mikels genes.  grandpa mikels knew which clubs would be best and ordered them, all the while wyatt patiently waited for his new clubs, his first clubs.  grandpa mikels also bought camryn her first clubs and took her golfing for the very first time...it was a precious memory and i'm so glad that she has that moment.  now, it was wyatt's turn.

wyatt, grandpa, and grandma headed to lunch at the course and ate a yummy lunch.  wyatt ordered pancakes, because that's his favorite! :)  they ate lunch and then headed to the driving range.  grandpa taught wyatt how to hold his clubs (wyatt is a lefty in golf), how to stand, and how to strike the ball...grandma took pictures and they are darling!  they then headed to the putting green and did a little work with wyatt's putter...grandpa was very patient teaching wyatt exactly how to line up his putt and how to strike the ball in a smooth stroke.  

wyatt had the time of his life...he got to ride in the golf cart around the course, he got his own special bag tag with his name on it, he got to see grandpa's locker "w.mikels" which grandma said could be his. :)  it's funny because it often has been said that wyatt looks a lot like his grandpa mikels and he does...and the pictures are priceless of a third (really fourth) generation of a mikels learning how to golf.  

after a fun day with his grandparents wyatt was thrilled to ask grandpa if they could do it again, and maybe next time camryn could come too.  wyatt is a precious boy...and yesterday he became another one of the mikels boys golfing.

yep, it's in the genes

six...

happy birthday wyatt...

hard to believe you are 6 years old, seems like time is passing much too quickly.

you fill a place in our hearts unlike any other...

simply, you complete us.

you make our family of 4 so much richer to have you.

when wyatt got his dodger schedule he quickly noticed that there was a game

on his birthday...a home game against the st.louis cardinals

a friday night firework night...

he wanted to go.

so for his birthday we went...

the cutest dodger fans around

honestly, these two are the best of friends...

camryn was so excited to spend wyatt's birthday at the

dodger game with him.  

she wouldn't have it any other way...

it's the unspoken between them that's amazing

camryn knows that her life in no way would be the same 

without her brother, her best brother.

and this picture just makes my heart smile.

jason & wyatt

they love the dodgers, they love baseball...

and they love being best buddies

i love the way wyatt is looking at his daddy

what better birthday present than a 

dodger win!

complete with wyatt's favorite player, 

andre ethier hitting a home run!

wyatt was so excited to go on the field to watch fireworks

in fact he wanted to sit in right field in honor

of ethier

yep, he bleeds dodger blue

wyatt is a sports nut and i have no idea where he gets that

he decided he wanted a usc birthday party, because

the trojans were playing stanford

yep, a boy after my own heart.

we had a very fun day celebrating wyatt with family 

and a few of his best friends

many thanks to those who came to celebrate 

our boy wy

he had lots of fun playing boys against girls...

oh my i could see it all beginning

and since it was over 100 degrees we brought out the blow up pool

and lots of water fun!

isn't this the cutest face ever?

yep, we love our sweet p

the kids splashing and playing...

what fun to add in school friends with life long friends

jason & i are so very thankful for the circle of friends

wyatt has...his world is much bigger than it 

once was and we couldn't be more grateful.

waiting for cake...love these little faces

wyatt and eisley...

the best of friends

love the special friendship 

of these two

six years ago our world became very full with little guy

he brought a most special gift to his sister

and completes a place in our hearts

wyatt is our daily, moment by moment, megaphone

of the lord in our lives saying

"i'm not finished, wait, hope, believe...a most precious gift is coming"

a bike from papa & grandma...

(love the sign made by my dad)

they boys being boys...

one of the blessings on village is the friendship of these two

oz & wyatt

they are the sweetest of friends and i cherish 

the friendship they have

and as oz's mom and i say...

"this is for their senior page."

wyatt,

you are the best boy we could ever ask for.  you make our hearts smile.

we remember waiting for you to come, waiting to see just who you'd be.

and no doubt about it, you sweet boy are exactly what we need.

you continue to amaze us with your sweet heart, stubborn spirit,

amazing abilities, driven personality, aim for perfection.

you the best...our best.

we love you 18 hundred 1 million 3 thousand times.

love,

daddy & mommy xoxo

and as camryn's card said to him

"i can't believe you are six.  you are the best brother ever. love your big sis, cam"

mommy's going back too...

so this summer i made the decision (with much encouragement from jason & my bosses) to go back to graduate school.  in no way is this a decision that i would have come up with, but with some visionary leaders in my life the lord open the doors for me to pursue a master's in educational leadership at apu.  

i did the whole gideon from the bible thing of laying out my fleeces for the lord.  i ask him to make it clear to me when i went to an appointment with dr. marcos at apu that i would know with certainty that this is the path for me.  as i drove out to apu a path i have traveled numerous times i was caught with nostalgia...i first drove out to apu 19 years ago to start my freshmen year.  wow, so much has changed.

i met with dr.marcos and was super impressed by her, she was wonderful.  we chatted about life, her's eerily foreshadows mine (both 8th grade history teachers, married to pe teachers, with a daughter and a son).  she was great...but the whole time the fleece loomed.  we started talking the real issues of going back to school.  how many classes?  how long?  how much money?  and the lord was as he always is, in the details.  since i already have a master's from apu i am waived 12 units of work, as well as all the admission fees.  crazy i thought.  all to say i have 4 classes, that's it...which will take me one year.  i sat there amazed at the lord...really?!  dr.marcos encouraged me to take advantage of the program, and that she would be my advisor all the way through and to take my classes online since i am working full-time, and a mommy of two.  

again the lord has directed me back to a place that means so much to me.  i did some of the most important growth with the lord in my life at apu.  had incredible mentors and leaders through my undergrad and graduate programs, and now i go back for more.

i went out there again today to buy my books...it's orientation weekend with lots of freshman and there is a buzz of life there beginning.  i was amazed at even though it's been 15 years since i graduated, and 10 years since my masters, apu is home.  there is a quality there that i love.  

i am thankful that the lord continually opens doors, when it is needed.  nervous?  absolutely, but again like gideon i feel like the lord long ago brought the people in my life to lead me to risk this jump...because it is a risk, but one that i am very excited for.

so, mommy starts school tomorrow...yikes!  

first day of school...

both camryn & wyatt were super excited for school to start, they had been anticipating finding out their teachers and who was in their classes for the last weeks of summer...finally, the lists were posted.

camryn was thrilled to have miss e and even more excited that her friend p was in her class.  we have said over and over how very blessed cam was to have a wonderful second grade year with some of the best girlfriends ever.  camryn was happy to get her supplies for third grade and even more surprised that she had to get WIDE ruled notebook paper.  "wow, mom this is big kid paper."  yes, it is...all the while thinking how in the world is she this old?!  yikes!  camryn picked out a hello kitty lunchbox, complete with a hello kitty thermos!  she is loving it!

wyatt informed us that he is a "big boy now."  guess first grade is no longer the little grade.  he was very happy to get mrs. a...and have some of his friends in his class.  this summer wyatt has seemed to grow so much, maybe not physically (he's still a little peanut); but emotionally.  wyatt is more sure of himself and confident and this was so noticeable to us as he prepared for first grade.  he was super excited to go to school...he truly loves to learn, which is so fun to see.  he picked out a cars lunchbox, complete with a cars thermos...and he too is loving it!

watching these two navigate the first two weeks of school has been priceless, even more grown up than i thought.  they were excited to be back in the familiar territory of village and even more so with their friends.

 they are silly, crazy, fun, and everything in between.  love that these two make the days of going to work even better, watching them come into their own in their own little pieces of the world is wonderful.  they have blossomed in ways that i never thought possible and i am ever so thankful for their teachers who guide them each day.

many thanks to miss e and mrs. a who constantly love on my kids.  teaching them responsibility, math, reading, spelling, computers, and everything in between.  but, most importantly to love jesus...to experience his great love for them and growing to love him too.  for this there is no price to high to pay...for them to be daily loved by people who pray for them, love them, and thank jesus for them.  i could not ask for more.

there are many things that could be said for the journey that brings us to today...but, the one word that comes to mind when i look at these two faces is grateful.  these days are a gift.  period.  i longed for them and wished for them many days ago when all just seemed so dark.  but, the sun shines now...and these faces capture the greatest words my heart needs to hear.  he loves us.

who would have thought three years ago this little miss was struggling just to live.  a lot of things have changed since those days...hair is a lot longer, she is taller, she is older, but even in all the changes some things remain.  cam is a fighter, she is survivor, and she knows that she was so incredibly sick and jesus made her better....and she loves that he made her better with this face...

wyatt.  he is growing into his own person and challenging us in ways we never thought possible.  and yet, regardless of the moments his life screams loudly in my heart that the lord is never finished, he is so far ahead of us that even when we think we know, we have no idea.  hard to believe this little guy will be 6 in about two weeks.  

six years of parenthood which in no way has been what we thought it would be.  you cannot plan for your child to have cancer...and yet, when i see where we are i know that it is only through walking through the storm clouds, that we get to see the rainbow.

and yes, the rainbow of a promise...that god loves us, oh how he loves us.

so, we start school another year of normalcy and we cherish it beyond measure.  thank you jesus for giving us these days...and even the days these past six years to bring us to this day.

thank you for loving us...and staring school with us too!