quote...

As I was sitting in my teacher's meeting this morning, I glance over at a stack of magazines on the table and my eyes found this...

"There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm." ~ Willa Cather

Probably don't need to explain the significance I found in these few words...

Thankful that even in the most insignificant encounters, reminders of God's faithfulness seem to find me to remind me that He is not finished yet...

Not even close.

the merriest place on earth...

On Sunday we headed to the happiest, now merriest place on earth for the day! We had planned to go in November, but due to rain we had to postpone our trip until yesterday. The day truly did not disappoint...we had a fabulous day!

Camryn enjoys the teacups, me not so much...so, it's a tradition for Daddy and Camryn to enjoy the teacups together. I love watching their smiles and laughs as they spin and spin the teacup...



Camryn wanted to meet Rapunzel. So, we waited in a line, a very long line. While we waited Camryn read her new Tangled book, it was darling watching her read and her eyes scan the pages...and yes, she was really reading. Camryn loves to read...



Did I mention the line was long? Very long, but totally worth the wait. Wyatt and Daddy joined up with us when it was time to meet Rapunzel and Flynn. I must admit after meeting almost every Disney character Rapunzel and Flynn were some of the nicest! They chatted with the kids, asked questions, signed autographs and even got Wyatt to smile.



What trip to Disneyland isn't complete without cotton candy and popcorn?



My love. I love going to Disneyland with him...he's the best.



The new found favorite...Tom Sawyer's Island, now called Pirates Lair, but still a very cool adventure. Camryn and Daddy went last time, but Wyatt wasn't so sure; this time Wyatt was "brave" as he told us. The kids loved it and had lots and lots of fun!


Waiting for the Christmas Parade...one of my holiday favorites.





And of course It's a Small World...Camryn and Wyatt both love this ride! We rode it twice and they loved it every time! The ride is quite cute for the holidays and the lights are fantastic.



A fabulous day...nothing says the holidays like Disneyland at Christmastime.

12.11.10...

A little piece of normal found us today and it feels a bit odd; and yet completely wonderful all at once.

Today we ran a couple errands to try to finish our Christmas shopping...we're almost done! Yay...only one more gift to get. As we were picking up a few things and just enjoying being together I caught myself watching us. You know those moments when you feel as though you are watching your life instead of living it...yep, in Target I had that moment. Jason, Camryn, and Wyatt were looking at ornaments and I heard them talking...as I walked over I thought, "they look normal". As we continued through the store it was amazing how my heart just felt like this is life, my life.

We headed home and just hung out the rest of the day...did a little cleaning, laundry, and tidying up. The kids were playing and we were enjoying a very nice day.

Tonight we headed to church...as I have said before church has been a struggle because honestly for the almost 5 years there has only been about a stretch of six months that church was consistent. Now that Camryn can do more, we decided to maybe try to go on Saturday nights since the crowd is a bit smaller and the children's program isn't too full. Camryn has enjoyed the few weeks we have gone and tonight she was thrilled. Evidently she answered questions correctly and won some candy from Teacher Linda. Yep, she is sold on church! :) Wyatt has decided he will give the children's program a try next week...we'll see if he really does it. For now Wyatt hangs out with Jason and me in the balcony coloring. Thankfully the pastor is Jason's dad so he does mind seeing Wyatt upstairs...in fact tonight he said, "I heard Wyatt tonight and that is great!"

As we drove home and the kids chatted in the backseat I told Jason I am really looking forward to Christmas because it seems like the first one in a long time that I can enjoy...it feels darn I say it...normal.

Incredibly thankful...

I have been longing for normal...a new kind, but normal none-the-less. A place where the air doesn't feel so heavy, and the clouds seem to be parting...a place where the fear isn't as overwhelming. The Lord is opening doors...He is holding us still, throughout all the ups and downs...so thankful.

And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." ~ Isaiah 30:21

two of a kind...

After we put our Christmas tree up I snapped a few pics of the kids...

I love this picture...LOVE it!




How in the world are they getting this big? I am daily amazed at these two and their love for life and everything in it. Amazing...



Two of a kind...a crazy kind.



And my favorite...



Sometimes pictures say it all...these faces capture my heart with every glance. I love their expressions, joy, happiness, laughter, and love.

Camryn always tells me, "Mommy you always carry me in your heart, always..." And it's moments like these that I capture and will hold forever...

eighteen months...

eighteen months ago...






hard to believe and yet it is as real as anything...

six more months until two years...

keep fighting baby girl!

we love you!

right words...

Sometimes the *right* words come...

Sometimes the words that should come don't...

Sometimes instead of the words it is a lump in the throat...

Tonight as I was at choir practice as we are preparing for our concert this weekend it hit me...the moment when the words meant more, oh so much more. Our director who is my dear friend and really he along with his wife are the ones who convinced me to join choir was explaining the story behind one of the songs we are singing. The song I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day...a beautiful song, an unforgettable song once you hear the story behind it. I won't spoil it if you come to the concert...but, if not look it up...the poem is written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and it is amazing. Suffice it to say he had experienced significant loss, a loss so deep and a heart so real that the holidays had become an unbearable time for him...but he heard the bells. That God had brought peace to his life...

I have been singing this song since August and only tonight heard the story...it was powerful. While we sang the song tears welled in my eyes...because it felt as if my heart had found the right words.

Throughout the four years and ten months that this journey has been the dominating story I have often felt as if there was no peace...that my heart was a raging sea, that I battled and battled only to find myself right back where I started...never quite feeling that anything had been settled, gained or even learned. And yet..."God is not dead, nor doth he sleep...Peace On Earth."

The Lord never once turned away from the story, never once abandoned the characters, never once left us alone, left me alone.

And then as I got in my car to drive home after practice I switched cds as I was in need of something different than my choir cd. A song began to play...

Sound of Your Voice...

Anyone who knows me well knows I LOVE Third Day, they are my favorite and yes I have admitted a crush on Mac Powell's voice...

I ran away from your love
But you waited for me
Yes you waited for me
And then I heard your song
Singing over me
Singing over me

Now that I hear you Lord
I want to know you more
I want to know you more

Sing your song to me
Oh there’s no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice
When I hear your song
I want to sing along
And listen to the sound of your voice
The sound of your voice

Lord I am calling your name
And I’m waiting for you
Yes I’m waiting for you
So won’t you show me your way
And I will follow you
Yes I will follow you

Now that I hear you Lord
I want to know you more
I want to know you more

Sing your song to me
Oh there’s no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice
When I hear your song
I want to sing along
And listen to the sound of your voice

Singing over me
Bringing peace and mercy
With a song that never ends
Singing over me
Marvelous and holy
Lord I want to hear your song again

Sing your song to me
Oh there’s no greater thing
Than to listen to the sound of your voice
When I hear your song
I want to sing along
And listen to the sound of your voice
The sound of your voice

I want to hear your song
I want to hear your voice

I ran away from your love
But you waited for me
Yes you waited for me

In that moment these were the right words...

I long to hear my Savior's voice...I long to hear him say my name...I long to see his face...

the week in review...

Our holiday week has been wonderful...here's the week in review.

* On Monday Jason, Camryn, Wyatt and Jason's mom headed to the kids favorite park. The kids love this park as they call it their adventure park. There are rocks to climb, a little creek running through, bridges to cross and fun to be had. Jason had the week off so he and the kids went on an adventure and decided to invite Grandma to come along. They picked up Grandma, got some lunch and had a picnic at the park...from what I hear it was a wonderful day! Camryn and Wyatt could go on adventures all day...they have such amazing imaginations...I'm happy they had an adventure, only wish I could have joined them!

* Tuesday Camryn headed to clinic with Daddy...it had been five weeks since her last appointment. Unfortunately they ran into a lot of traffic so they got to clinic a bit late, so it took longer than normal...but, all went well. Camryn saw Dr.M who was so pleased with her progress, she is doing wonderfully, truly she is. Camryn had a bit of a runny nose and a little cough so they decided to keep her meds the same, but in two weeks we are to lower (wean) her tacrolimus a bit! Yay, the wean continues! Camryn got to see all her usual friends which is always fun for her. We got her lab sheet later that day and it was fabulous! Honestly we have not seen her numbers this high in about two years...
White count - 8.46
Red count - 3.97
Hemoglobin - 12.1
Platelets - 297,000
ANC - 4000
Now, those numbers may not mean a whole lot to you, but to me they brought tears. I was so excited...progress! So incredibly thankful for good, strong numbers!

* Wednesday I joined Jason and the kids on vacation and we headed to the zoo. The zoo was on the kids list of places they wanted to visit...and it did not disappoint! We had a great day together as a family, the zoo wasn't too crowded and the weather was really beautiful.

The stinky animals were getting to Wyatt...



Love these two...thankful for their little lives.









* Thursday we headed to my parents house for lunch. My mom made a yummy, yummy lunch full of all the traditional Thanksgiving food. And yes, those of you that know me well know that Thanksgiving is not my favorite as I really don't like turkey. :) In spite of the turkey, we had a great time hanging out with my parents. So thankful for them! We then headed to Jason's family for Thanksgiving...we had lots more yummy food and spent time with family. It was a wonderful day of family, cousins, playing, football and food. We have much to be thankful for and daily I am reminded of the most incredible blessings of my children. No, the story has not gone like I would have written it, but I am thankful for the many things that have been given. Thankful to the Lord for what he has given to us...simply thankful.

Cute Cousins...



Camryn & Riley playing dance team...



Reading books with Grandpa...



* Friday a birthday party for our friends Jonas and Aria...we had a blast. Camryn and Wyatt absolutely loved Scooter's Jungle, we had never been before and they had a blast! We came home and decorated for Christmas...it was fun! Camryn and Wyatt are so much more into the decor of Christmas, the tree and all the fun! The house now looks like Christmas and we are ready to enjoy the holiday season. That evening we went to Village's play-off football game...it was cold, but an awesome game!

All in all it's been a very full week and so much fun! We are thoroughly enjoying the little tastes of life that seem to be returning. So many things are becoming more and more normal and it's refreshing...

Incredibly thankful...