remembering...

yesterday afternoon i caught myself going back in time to 6 years ago...

at times i think i forget, no not forget just get so involved with where life is now that 6 years ago really seems forever ago.  but, it's not...not to this momma's heart.  there are a lot of things that were happening this month 6 years ago, and really if i allow my heart to fully go there 7 years ago as well.

god was weaving a tapestry of our lives and little did we know it 7 years ago a storm was coming unlike any we would ever experience.  and then the storm hit in february...and the storm raged for months and months.  climaxing in august.

camryn was crashing, her vitals were awful, her lab sheets were an absolute mess.  everything normal was not.  i was 8 months pregnant and fighting to keep things together...a baby was coming, and my baby was fighting to hold on.  i was caught remembering the days of august 2006.  big bellied me rocking camryn hour after hour while she clung on to my belly.  her fevers up around 105, cool rags all over her trying to keep her as cool as possible.  we found out our sweet boy wyatt was a match on the 23rd, but when i remember back it is as if camryn knew...she knew that her life would be found in her baby brother.  she clung to my belly and day after day the nurses would say those two are going to have quite a bond...little did they know then what we know now.

i find it hard to go back, and yet when i do i can see god's love lavished on us.  oh the skies were grey and the clouds very dark, but there were glimpses of love.  and one of those greatest glimpses came on september 14th.  god's voice flooding our lives in wyatt jason...and holding camryn lee.

and yet, i was remembering 3 years ago this month...letting go of dreams and hopes.  trying with all my might to reconcile camryn not going to kindergarten and trying to piece together our lives as best we could.  holding on tight to what i knew to be true...the lord carried us through august after august and he would again.

then a year ago...the dreams emerged, the hope restored as camryn & wyatt began a journey of normalcy to "just be kids".  the leukemia did not define us, cancer did not define us, we were beginning to take steps of normal life and it was as if the grey skies made way for the sunshine to break through and stay.

oh there are always moments when the clouds start to gather...and some of those darkest days were in august...but, the hope of restoration is bright as a little girl prepares for third grade and a little boy for first grade!

many thanks to god whose unending presence in our lives holds us still.  whose tapestry is weaving a most beautiful story of a little girl a little boy and their parents who thank the lord daily for choosing us.  for choosing us to hold their hands on their great journey of life.

love you big cam & wy. xoxo