quote of the day...

Okay, really this just might be the quote of the year...or really the past almost 5 years.

"We feel we deserve to have God explain why, but that's not how it works. He doesn't have to." ~ Francis Chan

As I have been wrestling for almost five years with that very question of "WHY?" and today when I casually read the above quote on a friend's facebook status it hit me right in my heart...

God doesn't have to explain why to me...because if I believe in WHO he is, my Savior. Then I know above all that he is good...

I will not pretend to like the past almost five years, but I will love my Lord and trust, believe and hope.

Some days it is easier than others...

proud...

To say I am proud of our little girl would be an understatement. Camryn never ceases to amaze me and again today she made me so incredibly proud.

Camryn and I headed down to clinic...I won't lie I was a bit nervous and just a tad stressed. Jason has taken Camryn in the past, mostly because I was working part - time and I did not have any personal time off. So...now that I'm back full - time and have personal time we've decided to take turns.

We saw B at clinic and she was pleased that Camryn was doing so well. Later we saw Dr.S who confirmed that Camryn looked great and was doing well. We got through the clinic appointment super fast which was nice.

We headed down to the lab for Camryn's blood draw. Quite frankly both Camryn and I were dreading it...

As we walked in the lab Camryn turned and said, "Mommy, I'm going to be brave."

And brave she was...not a tear shed! She watched the whole deal and did great. Again, Camryn never ceases to amaze me!

Later B called and Camryn's labs looks great! We are so thankful.

So proud of you Cam...so proud!

four years old...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WYATT!




We are amazed daily by you and the gift that you daily remind us of...God's great love for us. You are a treasure, full of life, spunk, attitude and just all the round the best boy ever! You have brought us much joy, happiness and hope. We cannot believe you are four and yet we cannot imagine life without you.

We LOVE you Wy Boy!

light the night...

This year we are participating in the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society's Light the Night Walk. We are walking in honor of our survivor Camryn and her donor Wyatt...and for all the other children and adults battling a disease that takes far too many lives. In fact our lives this past year was doubly impacted by leukemia when my Aunt Frankie passed away after a nine month battle with the disease.

We are excited to participate and walk in the evening while carrying our red balloons in support and Camryn carrying her white balloon as a survivor and this year we will carry a gold balloon in honor of my Aunt. Yes, we believe that a cure can be found...and that with more testing drugs can be found to aid in the fight.

If you'd like to support our team here's our link:

http://pages.lightthenight.org/los/SClarita10/TeamMikels

And if you'd like to "watch" Camryn's journey click below. It's a bit long, but trying to capture an almost 5 year journey was quite a task...

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Thank you friends in blog world and in real life for your constant support for our Dynamic Duo...we are beyond blessed.

We walk...
For HOPE!

this 'n that...

So I've been a little behind in posting...but here is a little this 'n that...

* Well, the first week of school is done...wow, am I exhausted! It is taking me awhile to get back into the routine of working full-time and balancing work, home and most importantly family. I fell asleep on the couch every night...super tired. I'm hoping soon my body will adjust and I won't feel like crashing at 8:00 every night.

* I also started walking this week...really been needing some time to myself, to think, pray, and just be. So I figured what better way than to walk and mix the physical activity with some alone time. It's been really nice and refreshing...I'm enjoying it, hopeful to develop a new healthy habit!

* We are gearing up around here for Wyatt's FOURTH birthday! Tomorrow is his birthday party and he is very excited! Tuesday is his actual birthday...a day full of hope and promise. We sure do love our little guy Wy!

* It's official Camryn starts school on Tuesday! WooHoo! She is very excited, although again a little nervous. We had hoped that Camryn would be able to have the one of the teachers she had last year, but unfortunately that is not the case. So we'll begin the journey of a new teacher...which is a little normal. Most kids move from teacher year to year, so like them Camryn will too! We talked to her about it today and she took the news great, but is just really looking forward to school starting! We are very excited...First Grade here she comes!

* Light the Night 2010...we will be walking this year in the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society's annual walk. I will be posting all our info this week and invite you to support our team. Plus, I've been working on a montage that tells Cam's story...it's taken me awhile. Walking through almost 5 years of memories is a lot to sift through, but it's done...so I'll post it very soon!

* And of course we enjoying the most wonderful time of the year in the Mikels house...Football Season! Yep, cheerin' for the Trojans and all our other favorites is a Saturday tradition. Sure is fun watching Camryn make up cheers as she watches her new favorite Trojan, Matt Barkley! ;)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend...

Remembering today...9.11.01. Remembering those that lost loved ones, those who are daily putting their lives in harms way to protect our freedoms...we will never forget.

aware...

Were you aware that today marks 15 months since this little girl received the gift of a lifetime?



What a gift these past 15 months have been, truly not a day goes by that I don't consider the gift.

And can you believe that in a little over a week this little guy will be FOUR?



I will admit that I am struggling with the idea that he will be FOUR, yep I'm in denial...just a little bit.

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And were you aware that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month???

And I bet you can guess why that matters to us...



I will be posting very soon how you can help children just like this little girl who pretty much is my hero.

Childhood Cancer...two words that should never be put side by side, never should be uttered in the same breath. And yet they are...

Too many times. Too many children. Too many stories. Too many good-byes. Too many...

to abide, to dwell...

What a whirlwind this week has been. I had every intention of writing earlier, but every night when I would find those few extra moments my eyes, mind and heart were just far too tired. Jumping into a full week of work after having been off for the summer can leave a person exhausted and that was me this week. Trying to be fully in work and yet trying to deal with a heart that was a raging sea of emotions was an interesting balance.

Work...

Monday truly was a day of encouragement for my heart. As a staff we were challenged to think about our blind spots, the spiritual warfare that can so easily entangle us, and our vision. We spent time together talking, listening and playing...truly my heart needed this day. I am thankful for the people I work with, some are cherished friends, but all of them have walked some very dark days with me and my family and I find myself sort of "home" with them.

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday were very busy, busy days. Lots to do. A classroom to prepare, papers to copy, a new job to wrap my mind around and all the while a heart trying desperately not to fall apart. At one meeting we were asked to share why we came to our school and why we have stayed. I thought for a while...

Why I came? The Lord clearly opened the door, even against my liking. I did not want to teach at the school I had attended, I wanted to be my own person, dream my own dreams...not live in the shadows of my heritage. My parents had both worked for 40 plus years at the school and I did not want to continue...but, the Lord truly has His own plan. This fall I am starting my 13th year...and I wouldn't have it any other way, now.

Why I stay? This answer is a bit more messy, because in all honesty I have often wondered how it is I have gotten to stay. My track record at work the last four-and-a-half years has been less then great...seriously I am not on top of HR's list of easy employees. When you find your world falling apart and you often wonder which way is up, you long for something, anything really to hold on to. And for me a piece that I held on to was my students. They ministered to my heart unlike anyone else. Here I was their teacher and yet they taught me more than I guess I ever will. They were Jesus' hands and feet and his love to me. And really I stay because in all the world I cannot imagine a better job...reaching kids for Christ and in turn them reaching your heart.

Thursday night was I was nervous...Meet the Teacher Night. All the students would be on campus getting their books, schedules, meeting teachers...all but Camryn. I won't lie, it hurt. But, thankfully the Lord in all his goodness provided many smiles, many hugs and many reminders that he knows...he knows the dream I'm letting go of. He knows exactly what my heart feels...

As I am letting go...

I am learning to abide, dwell with my Savior. Finding my rest in him. Finding my dreams in him. Finding the grace for today in him.

Finding myself in him.

Realizing that this is no where near I thought we would be, but I am not the one writing this story...and sometimes letting go of the story is a battle. But, it's one that daily I am trying to win in releasing the dreams, the plans, the ideas to him and learning to live, abide, dwell in him.

It is not easy, but it's real and messy.

Hopeful for his hands to hold my mess and love me in spite of myself.

Oh to know that love, His love.